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Sun, Jun. 19th, 2011, 08:27 pm
Carrying twins is HARD

This pregnancy is going to be a lot more work then the last one.  Sandra needs to gain at lest 60 lbs before the third trimester, and morning sickness is kicking her butt.  Imagine being so hungry that you literally cannot think, and a side effect of this hunger is nausea that keeps you from eating.  Now add in pregnancy-heightened senses and food disgust.  All of that starts to kick in about one hour after your last meal.  She is going to need to eat constantly, and I mean that literally.
The better you know Sandra, the better you understand how difficult this is going to be.  On top of it all, I was trying to go on a diet.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to diet when you partner is pregnant, much less with twins?  I'll be lucky to come out of this weighing less then Dom DeLuise.

Fri, Jun. 17th, 2011, 04:38 pm
Boy Howdy...

At the first ultrasound, there was an embryo with a heartbeat, and one other structure which may have been a blood vessel, may have been a failed embryo, the Doctor wasn't certain.  What seemed certain was that we were having a baby! 
That was last Friday.

We just got back from the second ultrasound, one week later.
Two heartbeats.
Twins.

We had inadvertently been psyching ourselves up for twins and thus a tiny, irrational part of us was almost disappointed with the first ultrasound.  We got over that really quickly.  By Sunday we were feeling almost relieved.  Now we're looking at having having twins; Sandra tells me that at this point the odds of both making it are around 90%.
She is giddy, which is adorable.
I am, as I predicted, ecstatic. I am also, as I predicted, TERRIFIED.

Tue, Jun. 7th, 2011, 10:56 pm
The long wait.

Friday morning Sandra goes in for the ultrasound.  We implanted two this try, and her HCG levels are so high this time around that both might have taken.  The only thing we know for certain is that she is definitely pregnant.
If it's one, then we will be very happy - and relieved.
If it's two, then we will be ecstatic - and terrified.

Waiting is hell.

Thu, Jun. 17th, 2010, 09:13 am
Writer's Block: Rescue mission

If someone intentionally set fire to your home and you had ten minutes to get out, would you try to save the arsonist or your belongings?

I'd save my daughter and my wife first, the pets and a few of my small and more precious belongings second, and third try to make damn sure that the arsonist was trapped inside.

Wed, Feb. 3rd, 2010, 07:58 pm
A small stranger to whom we feel strangely attached...

Josephine Frazer Olsen was born 1419 hours on 03-Feb-2010.  She weighs 6lbs, 15.6 oz, and measures 19".
I have never been so buzzed with happiness in my life.

Tue, Feb. 2nd, 2010, 12:59 pm
Sandra is in labor.

For the last several weeks we've been joking about today, and now the joke is on us.  Sandra's due date is February 2nd, and pregnant women, especially prima gravida, almost never hit their due date.  Last night at about 0200 Sandra started having contractions.  It's almost 1300 now, and with contractions about 10 minutes apart we're pretty damn sure that she is in labor.  Always a pioneer, it appears that Sandra will hit her due date with uncanny precision.

Fri, Jan. 29th, 2010, 12:43 pm
Kato's Breed

My wife and I have been trying to figure out the breed of our shelter mutt, Kato.

Here is what we know:

  • Kato is all bark and no bite.
  • Though he bears noble (German) Shepherd markings, he howls like a hound, whines, and generally fills the air with static.
  • He is desperate to be in charge, the "Alpha", and is totally unsuited to the role; moans and whines piteously when ignored.
  • Kato is non-territorial; his response to strangers is “come on in!”  He ignores family and friends for any and all newcomers, and when not restrained wanders blithely into places he does not belong.
  • He is obsessed with crotch.  His, yours, anyone.
  • Positively stupid for attention.
  • Craves being touched, especially rolled on his back and rubbed.
  • Irresistible compulsion to stick his nose in other peoples business.
  • Drooling mouth-breather.

Actually, now that I write out the facts, his breed is obvious.

Kato must be an evangelist.

 

Mon, Nov. 9th, 2009, 08:07 am
The Fall of the Berlin Wall

November 9, 1989, the Berlin Wall finally went down.  11/9 is the opposite of my birthday (9/11), so I tend to remember the date.
I think it's appropriate to celebrate the event.  What do people think is a good way of doing this?

Sat, May. 2nd, 2009, 01:18 pm
Box of Angry Squirrels = Intelligent Design, Part 2

It would appear that Intelligent Design may, in fact, be correct. It does not seem possible to craft a Box of Angry Squirrels.
Gathering the necessary components is not difficult. In less then 24 hours, the first squirrel was acquired; with multiple traps one could easily catch multiple squirrels in that time period, allowing for rapid crafting.

Unfortunately, once the squirrel is placed in the cardboard box it stops being angry. The long and arduous process of getting the squirrel into the box sure pissed it off, but once it actually got into the box? Calm and quiet. It even stopped trying to escape. I figured that a hole would give it a place to chew through, and that the hope of escape would make it less tepid...

Sadly, it failed. I even removed the tape, as flimsy as it was. Nothing. I had to actually open the flaps, walk away, and wait a bit before the squirrel would leave the box.

On a warmer note, Box Of Terrified Squirrels would make a great gag gift! They sit quietly, unresponsive to the box being moved. Then you give it to a "friend", they open it, and viola! Instant fun*! It works so well, and is so easy, that this is obviously something that meant to be. Plainly, so perfect a practical joke could never have occurred by accident. The Creator, who gave us mastery over all the creatures of the earth, intended for us to make these miraculous devices. Isn't that reassuring?



*For a given value of fun.

Fri, May. 1st, 2009, 01:35 pm
Intelligent Design = Box of Angry Squirrels

Today, while thinking about Intelligent Design, I realized that the world, for religious types, is like a perfect MMO.  Everything is planned out by an intellect far greater then that of the mere participant, from the evolution of the mankind to the death of a sparrow.  Omniscience means that there are no emergent behaviors.  Omnipotence means the laws of physics, the boundaries of reality, are defined to allow only what is desired by the divine.  By definition, there can be no bugs in the system.  Nothing happens by accident.

I decided to test this.

I’ve always liked the crafting system in MMOs, and Real Life is no different.  I cook, make stuff, I’ve even trained as a machinist and been an auto mechanic.  In order to test the boundaries of the Real Life crafting system I decided to try and create a new item and divine its uses.  After all, in a perfect system, there would be no useless creations; everything has a purpose.  Looking out my window, I saw that the squirrels were into our birdfeeder again.  Then, while walking to get a drink, I noticed that stack of boxes I keep forgetting to throw away.  I then remembered the Havahart small animal capture trap that I’d bought but hadn’t needed; it wasn’t a mistake after all!  That purchase must have been the will of the divine, so that I could run this experiment!  Obviously, the item is preordained to be a Box of Angry Squirrels.

As I write this, the trap has been loaded, baited, and placed.  I believe that our perfect system allows one to craft a Box of Angry Squirrels, so I’m looking forward to seeing what uses this object will have.  After all, a perfect designer wouldn’t include useless junk.  Wish me luck!

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